Wednesday, September 19, 2012

Adira's new ending for Lamb to the Slaughter


Lamb to the slaughter
In “Lamb to the slaughter” I used a few literary devices. One example of when I used Suspension of disbelief was when I made Jack Noonan the bad guy even though in the original story he looked like a nice normal friend of Patrick’s. I also used Onomatopoeia, metaphor and simile.  
My inspiration for changing the time setting to more modern time is that I found it easier to relate to and write a continuation for. The original story is written as if an outsider watching this unfold so the continuation that I wrote was written as what’s  “between the line” instead of how its written in the original in “black and white.” My motivation for making Mary Maloney innocent was that I really felt close to her in the story and wanted to make her innocent.

…………….…………in the next room Mary Maloney began to giggle………..………….……
The giggle turned into a howling laugh that sounded like a dying seal. The detectives raced into the room and stopped abruptly at the opening of the door.  They all just stared in a mixture of shock and sympathy. Charlie was the first to break the silence
“Ma’am, are you all right?”
Mary continued to howl.
“Ma’am,” said detective Noonan more harshly.
Just then a bleached platinum blonde, curvy, knockout burst through the door.
“She killed him” the woman yelled “she killed my babbbbbbbby” she shrieked in her southern drawl.
The woman attacked Mary ripping at her hair and pulling her down hard.  They  collapsed and belly flopped on top of each other, scratching and pulling each other’s hair.
“I guess we should get involved” Charlie whispered
“Such a shame” mumbled sergeant Noonan and he stepped in to break up the girl’s fight.
The ladies were standing on the opposite sides of the room.
Jack Noonan looked at these two breathtaking women and wondered how Patrick got so lucky. Just as he was about to ask the blond bombshell’s name she ran out of the room crying, slamming the door behind her but not before screaming
“I’LL SEE YOU IN COURT” and pointing at Mary
With her nemesis departed, Mary collapsed in a heap on the floor.  The cops on site ran to be around her.
No one noticed that Jack Noonan looked sick to his stomach.
A few weeks later in court, things were not going well for Mary. The girlfriend got the best lawyers to defend her and all evidence pointed to Mary.
When Mary went out to take a break, Sergeant Noonan came up behind her.
“Mary if you need anything at all just tell me, I’m here to help” he said, and took her hand in his.
Mary felt a shiver going through her spine and felt her hairs stick up. She pulled away very quickly and ran into the court room.
She murmured to Jane brown in a loud whisper
“I know who it is!!!!!!!!!!!!” and mumbled for a few more moments into the ear of Jane Brown, Mary’s lawyer and closest childhood friend.  Jane shot up and asked Judge Judy for an adjournment so that they could deliberate.
Later that day the two friends met to discuss Mary’s earlier epiphany, over tea in Mary’s kitchen.
“It sounds plausible, but we need evidence that he did it” Jane said
Mary’s faced drained “I’m going to jail aren’t I?  There is no evidence and there are no witnesses” She began to cry into her hands.
Jane sat up straight as if a light bulb went on in her mind “Don’t you have a nosy neighbour?”
“Yes” said Mary in a sob
“You wait here and go to sleep. I’ll see you in court tomorrow”
The next day in court things were not going well with Mary when all of a sudden…
“I call up a new suspect” Jane shouted.
The court room buzzed like bees.
“We call Sergeant Jack Noonan to the stand”
Jack Noonan in his seat in the back got up and cried “this is absurd why would I of all people do in Patrick, he  was my best bud”
Judge Judy declared “we’ll see all of you tomorrow.”
As everyone walked out, Mary passed Jack and he gave her a look that would freeze a fire. But Mary just laughed because she knew that the tides were turning.
The next day at court, Jane said “I call Sergeant Jack Noonan to the stand”
Jack came forward.
Jane began “Is it that you went to the same school as Patrick and Mary”
“Yes” said Jack
“Is true that you were a nerdy geek and Patrick was the star of the football team and Mary was his cheerleader girlfriend who you had a crush on?”
“Yes.  Who didn’t?  She was a cheerleader.”
“Then is it true that you were always jealous of Patrick Maloney?”
“About Mary, yes, but that was 10 years ago your Honour,” Jack said, addressing Judge Judy, “I really don’t see how this is relevant?”
“Just hurry up!” she said to Jane in a stern and pointed tone
“Is it true that you encouraged Patrick to tell Mary about his affair with Lola?”
“Yes, I thought it was the honourable thing to do.  Mary was his wife, why shouldn’t she know about it?”
“Okay,” said Jane.   “Is it possible that when Patrick received his recent promotion to chief that you were just a bit jealous and angry?  Patrick had it all.  Why did he deserve it and you didn’t.”
“No, that is absurd! I was happy for Patrick”
“Really? Is that so, because right here we have a letter to Patrick which we found in his briefcase.   A letter from…. oh yes, let’s see………. You! How interesting” Jane said with a sneer”
“Your honor, we had no idea about this” said Patrick’s lawyer in exasperation
“Go on,” said Judge Judy looking straight at Jane
“Let’s see it says here….”
            Dear Pat, I know that we have had our differences but if you don’t step down from Chief and appoint me the head chief I will be forced to tell Mary about your affair with Lola. Jack.
Jane continued “ We have since learned that on that same day Patrick went to the head of the police department to tell him,Jack was trying to blackmail him. Jack you overheard this conversation didn’t you? Don’t bother denying this.   We found a recorder on the inside of Patrick’s pocket.  It has the  conversation we tracked it to…da da da daaaaa…………..Jack’s car”
“There you have it ladies and gentlemen.   Jack is the guilty one.   He lied under oath and killed Patrick Maloney”
“That’s no proof!  shouted Jack’s lawyer.   Proof that he was jealous but that’s not proof he killed him”
“I agree” declared Judge Judy about to bang her gravel down hard “Jack Noonan is found not guilty.   Mary Maloney will be sentenced to life in prison and the unborn child is to be given to a family member!”
Mary’s face turned white as a sheet.
“Waittttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt “ Jane shrieked, “we have proof.”
“We got this tape from Mrs. Gretchen, the Maloney’s neighbour. She takes it as her duty to be the neighbourhood watch and has a video tape of each person’s house.”
“Fortunately for us and unfortunately for Jack, we have the video right here.”
Jack Noonan shrank back in his chair as Jane pressed play.
The video started.   It showed Mary Maloney sitting in a chair looking blissfully happy as if she was floating on a cloud. Patrick Maloney’s car pulled up in the driveway.   He got out looking very upset. He came inside and it looked like he started talking to Mary telling something that clearly upset her.   Mary got up and walked out only to come back a few minutes later with a frozen piece of meat. She charged at Patrick Maloney and banged him hard on the head and he collapsed. Mary stood there in shock and then turned and ran out of the room. Just as she was out of site Patrick Maloney opened one eye and struggled to stand up.   Just as he was about to get up Jack Noonan cames up behind Patrick with a sledge hammer and hit him on the head.  Patrick collapsed in a heap on the floor”
There was as stir in the courthouse
“Silence, silence in the court!  Jack Noonan is guilty as charged” declared Judge Judy
And just as she banged her gravel down Mary Maloney grabbed Jane Brown’s hand in pain and screamed
“I’m in labor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”





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